multiplying grace

Posted: May 31, 2012 in Humor
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Paul and Barnabas were walking through the marketplace in Antioch after church. They are going to Olive Garden for soup and salad. As they walk, a young girl and man are right on their heels.

Girl: 6×6=36!     16×23=368!    48,588×455=222,307,540!

Barnabas: 55×32?

Girl: 1,760!

Paul: 7×5?

Girl: 35!

Man with girl: She’s my slave. She can multiply anything. I rent her out as a calculator.

Paul: 9×9?

Barnabas (just ahead of the girl): 81.

Man: Want to hire her for some calculations?

Paul: No. We mostly add.

Man: You’re already into me for 6 calculations.

Paul: No way! We didn’t ask for the first three and Barnabas answered the last one.

Man: Hey, everyone! These….CHRISTIANS…THEY don’t want to pay for their calculations! I’m being oppressed!

A group gathers around them.

Man: Wilbur, how much did you pay me for calculating how many casks you could move with your crew?

Wilbur: 50 cents. Yeah, 5 men, 5 trips, 25 casks. I remember.

Man: There! See? You owe me $3.00.

Paul (steamed): Here’s $1.50 for 2 questions.

Girl: $1.00

Paul: Did that one count?

Man (thinking): Of course. That’ll be $1.00.

Paul (handing over $1.00): Okay, here. This ain’t right. No one should have to work as a calculator. Girl, do you like this?

Girl: I’m so tormented. All I can do is…multiply…if only I were free!

Man (slapping the girl): Shut-up, winch!

Paul: That’s it bub. Demon, identify yourself and come forth!

Girl (falling to the ground): Aghh!

Demon: Paul of Tarsus, servant of Jesus Christ! I am the Demon of Multiplication. Please don’t send me to the pit! Please!

Paul (looking around): Foul fiend! Go! Into that donkey, you minion of evil!

The girl sat up, in her right mind, smiling calmly at the crowd. The people were amazed.

Man (startled, looking at the girl): What’s 13×120?

Girl:  I don’t know.

Donkey: 1,560.

Tr8: Multiply your grace by helping others. Boldly help the helpless.

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