jesus takes mark and barney to aquaduct-us maximus

Posted: June 23, 2012 in Humor
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Jesus, John Mark and Barnabas are waiting for Peter, John and James at a Starbucks. Jesus promised to take Mark and Barney to a water park. Jesus is reading a paper someone left behind. Mark and Barnabas are studying him.

Barnabas: Jesus, why don’t you ever write anything down for us?

Jesus: Got it taken care of.

Barnabas: What’d’ya mean?

Jesus: Two things: First, my teachings are something you DO, not something you LEARN. The Pharisees KNOW what is written, but they don’t DO it too much. Second, anyone who writes about himself has questionable credibility.

Mark: Yeah, but I think your life and teachings need to be written down.

Jesus: I know. It’ll get written up. Here’s how it’ll fall out. Matthew, who listens well, will do mainly teachings and sermons. Peter will work with you, Mark, to write anecdotes and stories. A doctor, named Lucanus, will write my biography and some other stuff. Barney, you’ll help him and a nimrod named Saul, from Tarsus. It’ll be interesting. John, when he’s old will write a sort of first-person narrative. He’ll continue to be a bit jealous of Peter being the ‘rock’ on which the church will be built.

Mark: I should have known you’d have it all under control.

Jesus (smiling): Listen to this headline on the sports page, ‘Pharisee with Twelve Children Hits Hole in One.’

Barnabas: Here’s Peter and the guys! Let’s go! The slide at Aquaduct-Us Maximus is radical!

Jesus: Grab you towels and sunscreen, I’ll pay our tab.

Tr8: Jesus’ way is something you DO, not what you KNOW.

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