I can fix that yesterday

Posted: October 19, 2012 in God and Time, Humor
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Jesus and Murphy (the non-disciple) are in the market at a taco cart. They’ve just come from a Carpenters Guild meeting. Murphy’s wearing an eye patch and limping from a fight he had with some scribes and pharisees who tried to stone a gay guy. The pharisees were in Forest Lawn Memorial Hospital in Capernaum.

Jesus: This is my treat.

Murphy: Really? Aww, thanks. I’ll get ’em next time.

Jesus (to Jose Fuentes, the cart owner): Jose, we’ll take four ‘El Gigantes’  and two Jarritos.

Jose (grinning): ¡Jesus! ¿Esta bein? (Jesus hands him some coins, but Jose refuses them.)¡Qué! Your denaro is no good here, Salvador.

Murphy (smiling): Forget what I said ’bout next time (as he carries the Jarritos to a nearby table under an umbrella).

Jesus smiles, nods, grabs some napkins and carries the tacos in a small cardboard box over to the table. They sit.

Murphy: I’m still not sure why you let yourself be seen with me.

Jesus (unwrapping a taco): You’re my kind of people, Murph.

Murphy: Thanks, but you know I’ve really messed up my life. It’d take me forever to remember everything…if I could.

Jesus: I know. Listen, don’t worry. I’m fixing it. In fact, it’s already fixed. I’ve even fixed the stupid things you haven’t done yet.

Murphy: What?

Jesus: Yeah, I’m going back, forward, whatever and cleaning things up. By the time we get to the Father, it’ll be finished. You know the outhouse you set on fire when you were 13 in Irbid? Behind your grandparent’s house? I’ve already fixed that. Good as new — standing in heaven with a new coat of paint.

Murphy: You fixed it?

Jesus: Yep. Adam screwed everything up. I’m unscrewing it.

Murphy: I don’t get it, but I guess I believe it. You’re saying you can redo history.

Jesus: I can, and am, redoing history. You’ll be amazed when you see the Father’s original plan completed. Adam and Eve are really pumped about this.

Murphy: You are going to go back and straighten out my mistakes and make things good?

Jesus: Murph, in me, you are a new creation. Old things are gone ALL things are new. When I forgive sin, I clean up the mess. If you believe in me, believe also that I go and do as I please. I please to redo history from Adam onward. On your way to heaven I’ll fix things. You’ll see heaven after I’ve cleaned up your messes.

Tr8: Trust Christ completely with your past. What can’t he do if he has a mind to? What can’t he make new?  2 Corinthians 5:17

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