Archive for December, 2013

jesus and murphJesus is watching the disciples fishing out in the Sea of Galilee. He and Murphy, the non-disciple, are sitting with their backs to the setting sun. Peter is waving a flag.
Jesus: Murph, get your flags out and semaphore them to the left about 30 yards.
Murphy (flapping flags): M. O. V. E. L.E.F.T. 3.0.
Peter (flapping flags): F.E.E.T.
Murphy (flapping): Y.A.R.D.
Murphy sits back down beside Jesus.
Jesus: My last Passover is coming up. Are you going to join us in Jerusalem? It’ll be something.
Murphy: What’d’ya mean?
Jesus: Judas is going to betray me, I’m going to be crucified, the guys are going to freak, then I’m going to come back from the dead. Murph, do you believe I can rise again after I’m dead?
Murphy: If you say so. Want me whack Judas? I’ll make plans for J-city.
Jesus: Don’t worry about Judas. Hope you’ll come–you’ll see the greatest event in all history.
Murphy: In all history? How will people living 500 years from now know about ‘lil ole us in Judea?
Jesus: This is going to be so big the whole world will start their calendars over based on my resurrection.
Murphy: Wow! But who’ll believe it?
Jesus: The world will know because you and the Apostles and the 70 will love as I have loved you. You’ll tell the world about me. Matthew, Peter, John and a guy named Luke, a doctor who will talk with a Pharisee named Paul will write books about me. They’ll call ’em Gospels.
Murphy: Seems to me you’ll need some outside witnesses…
Jesus: Got it covered. This will be one of the most recorded events in history. Rome keeps records like nobody else. Plus, Ignatius, Origin and Eusebius and tons of others will write reference materials. They’ll help attach dates to rulers, proconsuls, rebels, high priests and what-not. The witnesses will be legion and will grow with time. You’ll see.
Murphy: You can count on me to keep your story straight–I’ll tell everyone I know.
Jesus: Murphy, you know you aren’t a Disciple, right?
Murphy (looking down): Yeah, I know. I screw things up way too often. I’m not worthy.
Jesus: No, that’s not it. You’ve been baptized, you believe and you follow me. You are mine, 100%. All of the guys have sin issues similar to yours–nobody but me is perfect. No, your destiny is to know me well, receive my love and be a nobody. No one will ever know you were born–except a blogger, who’ll do little better than imagine you.
Murphy: So, I’m just a nobody? But I get to be with you?
Jesus: Yep.
Murphy: I can live with that. Look, Peter’s flapping…says, T.O.O. M.A.N.Y. F.I.S.H. How shall I respond?
Jesus: Tell him,”Let’s eat.”

Tr8: Being a nobody doesn’t keep you from being close to Jesus.

small - earthJesus, a bunch of his disciples and Murphy, the non-disciple, are camping out near the Sea of Galilee. It’s late at night and they are all lying on a hill looking into the night sky.

Jesus: There’s Mars! Isn’t this amazing! The stars, galaxies, planets–that’s the next nearest star, Alpha Centauri, over there, and it’s 4.3 light years away!

Disciples: Silence.

Jesus: Are you awake? (more silence) You know, I made all of this, right?

John (clearing his throat): What’s a mars?

Peter: Yeah, what’s a galaxy?

James: What’s a planet?

Murphy: What makes a light year weigh less than a regular year?

Jesus: Oh, right, you only know about the sun, moon and stars… Well, you live on planet Earth, which has one moon, and there are six other planets beside Earth and Mars going around the sun. The sun is a star, along with Alpha Centauri, and a million others in the Milky Way galaxy–see how the stars are clustered in a sort of cloud? That’s our galaxy and it’s huge. And the stars outside the cloud, those aren’t stars, they’re galaxies and stuff–billions and billions of ’em.

Nathaniel: So, that little star over there above that bush isn’t a star, it’s a galaxy with millions of stars and planets in it?

Jesus: Yep.

James: So, I’m guessing 3.4 years isn’t what time it is on Alpha Centauri?

Jesus: 3.4 is how many years it takes light to get there–light travels about 700 million miles an hour–if that star burned out right now, you’d see it 3.4 years from now.

Judas: You’re pulling our legs…

Andrew: I can’t even imagine… It’s all unreal. We really aren’t even a drop in the bucket in the big picture, are we? I feel totally small.

Jesus: You are infinitely small, but infinitely important to me. I made all that you can see, but I came here, now, to be with you.

Murphy: If you are God and you are here, now, who’s minding the farm a bazillion light years thataway?

Jesus: There’s more to me than meets the eye, but what you see is as much as you can understand about what makes me tick.

John: What makes you tick is getting us to repent and follow you, right? It seems you practically live for us with all your consideration, unconditional love and sacrifices. It would be unbelievable if we hadn’t seen your love and godliness with our own eyes.

Jesus: True. And I’m showing you my “way.” Future generations will see through your eyes and believe the Son of Man is the Son of God.

Peter: Lord, we see and we believe.

Jesus: Blessed are those who don’t see, but believe anyway.

Tr8: Be blessed. Repent and know God became man and demonstrated The Way for you.