eve of destruction with lucky

Posted: September 20, 2014 in Between the lines, Fractured Bible stories, Humor
Tags: , , , , ,

luciferAdam and Eve are sitting under a tree in Eden.

Eve: What about Serpent?

Adam: What do you mean?

Eve: Well, for one thing, he talks. Says his name is Lucifer.

Adam: Yeah, I call him Lucky. I think he’s connected to a spirit or something. I’m pretty sure he knows God. I’ve seen ’em talking.

Eve: Yeah, me, too. And he’s tall and handsome and strong.

Adam: Yeah, at least 6’4′ and 200 pounds.

Eve: He’s easy on the eyes.

Adam: Sometimes when we walk with God in the garden? Lucky’s asked if we’ll go with him instead to the orchard. I laughed, but didn’t think it was funny.

Eve: Lucky seems different–sort of like God, but not as much. He’s approached me, too. He’s always talking to me by the river. He’s a charmer. I’m pretty sure he has a crush on me.

Adam: That’s cool. Glad Lucky likes you. What does he talk about?

Eve: He’s full of complements and asks me if I love him.

Adam: Really? He asked me the same thing today. Once again, I laughed–what a goof!

Eve: Totally. He asked me if I thought he looked like God…bizarro!

They sit quietly for a few minutes, then Adam sits up.

Adam: It’s almost 6:00. What’s for dinner?

Eve: I thought we’d have spaghetti, French bread and fruit cocktail for dessert.

Adam: Sounds good! I’m gonna go ask God if he wants to join us. He loves your spaghetti.

Eve: Perfect. I’m going to go pick some fruit.

Adam heads toward the river as Eve heads toward the orchard. While she’s on the path Lucky slides up beside her.

Lucky: Where you headed?

Eve (looking over her shoulder): To the orchard. Wanna come along?

Lucky: Sure! Where’s Adam?

Eve: He’s inviting God to dinner.

Lucky (enviously): No kidding? Wouldn’t you rather have supper with me?

Eve (laughing): Where do you get that stuff?! No, but you can join us. Bring some monkeys. They’re always fun, too.

Lucky: Hmm. You know, I’m like God. Come over here, I wanna show you something.

They walk up to a banana tree.

Lucky (touching a branch): Recognize this tree?

Eve: You crazy serpent! That’s the tree God said to leave alone.

Lucky (reaches up, snaps off a banana, peels it and eats it): Voilà!

Eve (startled): So?

Lucky (confidently): So?

Eve (snapping off a banana, peeling it and taking a bite): You know, Lucky, I don’t think we should be alone together. I’m starting to feel naked.

Tr8: Love God with all your heart. Don’t be alone with Lucky.

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