Posts Tagged ‘John Mark’

Jesus, John Mark and Barnabas are waiting for Peter, John and James at a Starbucks. Jesus promised to take Mark and Barney to a water park. Jesus is reading a paper someone left behind. Mark and Barnabas are studying him.

Barnabas: Jesus, why don’t you ever write anything down for us?

Jesus: Got it taken care of.

Barnabas: What’d’ya mean?

Jesus: Two things: First, my teachings are something you DO, not something you LEARN. The Pharisees KNOW what is written, but they don’t DO it too much. Second, anyone who writes about himself has questionable credibility.

Mark: Yeah, but I think your life and teachings need to be written down.

Jesus: I know. It’ll get written up. Here’s how it’ll fall out. Matthew, who listens well, will do mainly teachings and sermons. Peter will work with you, Mark, to write anecdotes and stories. A doctor, named Lucanus, will write my biography and some other stuff. Barney, you’ll help him and a nimrod named Saul, from Tarsus. It’ll be interesting. John, when he’s old will write a sort of first-person narrative. He’ll continue to be a bit jealous of Peter being the ‘rock’ on which the church will be built.

Mark: I should have known you’d have it all under control.

Jesus (smiling): Listen to this headline on the sports page, ‘Pharisee with Twelve Children Hits Hole in One.’

Barnabas: Here’s Peter and the guys! Let’s go! The slide at Aquaduct-Us Maximus is radical!

Jesus: Grab you towels and sunscreen, I’ll pay our tab.

Tr8: Jesus’ way is something you DO, not what you KNOW.

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Mary Magdalene and Mark are cleaning up the kitchen at his Mom’s house.

Mark: Which of the disciples do you think is the hottest?

Mary: Hmmmm. I guess Andy, but Bart’s got somethin goin on when his hair’s washed.

Mark: What about Jesus?

Mary: He’s not a ‘player.’

Mark: What’d’ya mean?

Mary:  He’s a Blues Brother…on a ‘mission from God.’ Any woman who falls for him will be disappointed. Take Peter. He was a good husband to Mary before she passed.  He still loves her after all these years.

Mark: What’s with the name ‘Mary?’ Nearly every woman with us except Salome is called ‘Mary.’

Mary: It’s ancient Aramaic sarcasm. Means ‘Oh, joy! It’s a girl!’ Haven’t you noticed this is a male-dominant culture?

Mark: Then what does ‘Salome’ mean?

Mary: ‘This is not a boy.’

Mark: ‘Suzanne?’

Mary: ‘Missed again.’

Mark: Hmmm. So, why would a guy want a girl?

Mary: To have kids, a slave, or to get a dowry.

Mark: What about sex?

Mary: What do you know about sex?

Mark: One of the Romans draws naked pictures. He says sex is fun.

Mary: Maybe if you are a Roman. Sex for fun will get you killed around here. I used to be treated like a piece of meat at the market. Promiscuous sex doesn’t reach wide acceptance until 1967 AD — ‘Summer of Love,‘ Woodstock and all. But, sexual liberation won’t be kind to anyone. Viewing sex as a ‘thing’ is a mistake. Sex should be the product of love in a relationship.

Mark: OK, if you don’t want killed, or a dowry, or a slave, and Romans are pigs, then why have a woman?

Mary: Considering it is minus 32 BC and women are little better than livestock, I’d go with a good Arabian horse.

Mark: Why do you hang around all these guys, then?

Mary: Because Jesus treats everyone with love and respect and leads these nimrods to do likewise. He knows what love is and isn’t afraid to demonsrtate compassion. Doesn’t make any difference whether you’re male, female, young or old. Plus, he’s confident but humble; a man’s man but godly — that’s not unattractive.

Mark: Yeah, I know what you mean. Jesus treats me like an adult and respects me as a friend and everything even though I’m just a kid.

Mary: Aww. You’re nearly a man. Follow Jesus, Mark. If you learn to treat others like he does, you’ll do fine. Mark, if you choose to marry, settle down, and have kids, love your wife like Jesus loves us.

Tr8: Respect. Treat others with love and respect regardless of their situation or circumstances.

John Mark made smores. They’re a day’s journey from Lystra. Sitting by the fire, Paul licks the marshmallow and chocolate from his fingers. Barnabas watches the sun slip below the horizon while John Mark pulls out the bedrolls.

“Hey, Hermes, you look a little stoned.”

“Shut up, Zeus.”

“Seriously, how’s it going? The eye looks better already. Did you heal yourself?”

“Not funny. You wanna explain to me how you walk away from “THE GODS ARE AMONG US” and I get stoned?”

“Squeaky wheel gets the grease.”

Silence.

Gentle sobbing.

“Reminds me of Stephen….”

Silence.

“You know, Paul, what I admired in Stephen is what I like about you. You are not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ. You preach it like it’s the power of God to bring salvation.”

“Well, that’s what I believe.”

“Stephen did, too. I remember Jesus said, ‘Blessed are you when you’re persecuted for my name’s sake.’ Stephen once said to me, ‘For me to live is Christ, to die is gain.'”

“That sounds like Stephen. Hang on a second, let me get a pencil. I’m gonna wanna remember this.”

“We’re on a mission of life or death, Paul. Since all have sinned…”

“…and fall short of God’s glory…”

“…we HAVE to tell everyone that if they’ll confess Jesus is Lord and believe in their hearts God raised him from the dead…”

“…they’ll be saved!”

“Exactly! Paul, if God is for us, who can be against us? Aren’t we more than conquerors in Christ?”

Silence. Nothing but embers left in the fire pit. The stars glow in the night.

“Barnabas.”

“Yeah, Paul.”

“Thanks for everything — after Stephen, after Damascus, bringing me to Antioch, this mission — you’ve helped me realize all things are possible in Christ.”

“My pleasure, Paul.”

Tr8: Mentor. Find one. Be one. This is a team endeavor.