Posts Tagged ‘Jonathan’

Dave: Hey! What’s up? My name’s Dave.

Jon: I’m Jon. New in town?

Dave: Yeah, I’m the one who killed the giant. With a slingshot.

Jon: Right, right. Then you’ve met my dad.

Dave: Dad?

Jon: Yeah, King Saul. The Big Guy. I’m his oldest son.

Dave: Hmmm. You know Sam the Prophet says I’m going to be king?

Jon: Yep. Sam and I are tight. I’m on board.

Dave: You don’t mind?

Jon: Can’t say it will be easy, but Sam said I should honor God and do for you as I’d want done for me. So, I’m promising right now you’ll be king and have no problems with me.

Dave: But you’re the Prince of the Realm and the people love you.

Jon: Dave, let’s get this straight: For you to be king, I’m going to have to die.

Dave (pause): …there’s gotta be another way…

Jon: We’re living in ancient times. If you become king and I’m around, the first crisis that comes along, the people are gonna call for your head and they’ll want me as king. That’s how things work. For Pete’s sake, it’s 1000 BC!

Dave: Why does it have to be this way?

Jon: We blew it when we demanded a king. We were THE People of God and our “king” was the Law of Moses. We had judges anointed by God. Now, we’re like everybody else — Dad’s a monarch with autocratic power. Autonomous power puts the monarch above the law. I’m not protected by the Law any more.

Dave: So, if we’d kept the Law you’d have been okay?

Jon: Right. But the people kept whining, ‘We want a king! Look at the Philistines, Moabites, and Babylonians — they have kings!’ Sam was the only one who understood how stupid a king would be.

Dave: This stinks. So, for me to be God’s king, you, the Prince of the Realm, must die.

Jon: Listen, Dave. This all works out in the end. I’m more than thankful to play my part. I’m what you call a “type” or “analogy” of Christ, who’ll come along in the New Testament. How many people get to be Christ-like in the Old Testament?

Dave: You’re saying another prince will die?

Jon: THIS prince, Christ, is going to be from YOUR hometown and bloodline and will be the King of Kings. He’ll die for everyone, but God will resurrect him. He’ll fulfill the Law, conquer death, and reveal the Kingdom of God. We’ll all be joined together in him.

Dave: Jon, you’re the best friend a guy could have.

Jon: Christ’s gonna say,’There’s no greater love than this.’

Tr8: A friend loves at all times. We should sacrificially imitate Christ for others.

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Jonathan, teenaged Prince of Israel, is sitting on a rock sipping his morning coffee (breakfast blend). His armor bearer, Zarrow, is with him. Things are quiet.

Zarrow: Why do they call a small a “tall?”

Jonathan: ‘Cause they can. If it’s good coffee you can call it anything you want. Where’d you get the name, “Zero?”

Zarrow: It’s ZARROW. My dad was an archer and said my name is the sound an arrow makes. You know: pull, release, “zarrow.”

Jonathan: Hmmm.

Zarrow: Are those Prince of Egypt pajamas?

Jonathan: Yeah, Dad gave ’em to me for Christmas. I think he slid over the edge a bit, but I humor him. He’s been real moody lately. He liked the movie a lot.

Zarrow: They’re not too bad, I suppose (grinning).

They sit for a minute in silence. Jonathan sips down the last of his coffee and throws his cup into the recycle bin.

Jonathan: Let’s attack the Philistines. Right now. In our pajamas.

Zarrow: What?

Jonathan: Let’s attack. You and me. In our pajamas…with sharp sticks.

Zarrow: Not a good idea.

Jonathan: Are you kidding? If you KNOW God is on your side, why not?

Zarrow: The guys up on that mountain are hardened warriors…with axes and spears and swords…

Jonathan: But we KNOW God is with us.

Zarrow: We’re just two guys. They have thousands up there.

Jonathan: Whatever. I’m gonna go up and see what God’ll do.

Zarrow: If you go, I go.

Jonathan calls up a couple of chariots and they storm across the valley toward the Philistine position on a cliff, above. No stealth. The Philistine guards are standing, looking over the ledge, scratching their heads.

Philistines (shouting down from the heights): What are you Israelite wusses doing? The porta-potties are down the valley. You could get hurt here. Are those Prince of Egypt pajamas?

Jonathan (shouts): YES, THEY ARE! Okay, Zero, here we go.

Zarrow: Z-A-R-R-O-W. What about swords? Armor? Shield? Bow and arrow? More men?

Jonathan: Nope. Sharp sticks. Think. What would you do if you KNEW, beyond any shadow of doubt, God was with you?

Zarrow: Well. If I KNEW God was with me, I suppose I’d attack ’em in my underwear with a pocket comb.

Jonathan: Now you get it!

Jonathan begins to shed his pajamas and nods toward Zarrow. Zarrow reluctantly sheds his pajamas, too.

Jonathan: I wouldn’t have guessed you were a briefs guy. Got a comb?

Zarrow: No comb.

Jonathan: Okay then. Sticks or rocks?

Zarrow: Sticks, I guess. We have no pockets.

Jonathan and Zarrow climb the cliff up to the Philistine emplacement. They charge into camp. In an area about the size of a front lawn they kill 20 Philistines. The enemy camp becomes terrified and scatters.

Jonathan: That’s what I’m talkin’ about. It ain’t no thing when you KNOW God is with you.

Jonathan and Zarrow head back to camp for a wrap-up cup of coffee. While sipping their coffee the Israelite scouts bring back news of the Philistine retreat. King Saul turns off the DEFCON 5 light and sends his infantry up the mountain to mop up after Jonathan and Zarrow’s attack (see 1 Samuel 14).

Tr8: Do what you’d do if you KNEW God was with you.