Posts Tagged ‘Moses’

God: Okay, Moses, I’m going to put some rules in stone for you and the kids. Don’t forget them. Pay attention.

#1 No TV after 6:00.

Moses: Huh?

God: Gotacha! But seriously, TVs are going to screw things up royally. Okay, #1 No gods but me.

Moses: Check. No god but you, MAJESTIC LORD GOD ALMIGHTY OF HEAVEN AND EARTH, RULER OF…

God: Stop it. Remember? Call me Father. #2 No other gods made of stuff.

Moses: No god things.

God: #3 My name’s not a swear word.

Moses: Yes, GOD MOST HIGH, NAME ABOVE ALL NAMES, KING OF KINGS…uh, Father.

God: #4 Keep one day a week for rest.

Moses: Saturday or Sunday?

God: Saturday for now. #5 Respect your parents.

Moses: Good, the kids need this one.

God: #6 Don’t murder people like you did that guy in Egypt.

Moses: That was sooo an accident.

God: Right. That’s #9, but #7 No messing around unless it’s with your spouse.

Moses: So, that hot Ethiopian woman…

God: Jesus, can you believe this guy? No. One man. One wife. Period. #8 Don’t steal.

Moses: Check.

God: #9 No lying. The Egypt thing was NOT an accident.

Moses: Well, it could have been…

God: No, it wasn’t. #10 Don’t want what you can’t have.

Moses: How does this fit in with the MegaHundreds Lotto?

God: Really Moses? Pathetic. Take these down to the kids and tell them the Law has come to town.

So, Moses hauls the tablets down the hill to the Sinai Suites, next door to Holiday N Excess, where they stayed last night. Total for the day in Sinai miles: 0. The kids are at the pool and dancing around something in the parking lot. Smells like burnt banana manna and cat.

Moses: LISTEN UP! THE LAW HAS COME TO TOWN! The LORD GOD SOVEREIGN OF THE…uh, OUR FATHER WANTS YOU TO SHAPE UP. FIRST, NO OTHER GODS. NO OTHER GODS. SECOND, NO GOD STUFF. NO GOD ST…Aaron, what are those kids doing?

Aaron: The kids are sacrificing tent cats rubbed in banana manna to a golden calf.

Moses: WHAT THE HEY….DANG-IT! YOU KIDS GET AWAY FROM THAT CALF AND UNTIE THOSE CATS! DON’T MAKE ME CUT A SWITCH!

Moses blows a gasket and throws the tablets out in the highway in front of an oncoming RV full of Canaanites. The tablets shatter. The Canaanites swerve and continue east, making ancient Mesopotamian gestures at Moses.

Moses goes back up the hill.

God: What’s up, Mo?

Moses: God, I’m going to need a bigger rod. Of course, I get it, but these kids…they’re a stiff necked bunch, you said so yourself. There’s no way they’re going to get into Promise World or Jericho TumbleTown if they have to keep these rules. It’s impossible.

God: That’s the point. For Pete’s sake, why do you think I’m Jesus, too? No one can do these rules. Not even you.

Moses: Well, then what’s the point?

God: Remember the bush I set on fire but it didn’t burn? The rules set people on fire, but Jesus won’t let ours burn.

Moses: Which one’s are yours? How’re you going to do that?

God: If they trust us to take care of ’em we’ll do it. Remember the Red Sea? Trust me.

Tr8: Trust God to take care of it. Whatever “it” is. Don’t hold on to any mistakes. Especially the ones you can’t forgive yourself about. NO ONE gets peace or into Promise World based on the rules.

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Moses was trying to take his contentious family through the wilderness to Promise World, featuring Jericho TumbleTown. Every few miles the kids would whine, fight, complain about the radio, throw stuff out the windows, or make golden calves. The trip wasn’t going as anticipated.

Moses: Don’t make me stop the car!

Zipporah: Moses, settle down. Kids, let’s sing a song, ‘we’re bound for Prom-ised Wooorld, we’re bound…’

Moses: I must be crazy! Should have stayed in Egypt.

Zipporah: Moses, focus on the road. Remember, Promise World. Canaan. Mission. Drive!

Aaron: Moses, you gotta do something with these kids!

From the back: How much farther? I need to go! I hate manna! He took my calf! I’m thirsty!

Moses: Water! You want water? I’ll show you water! Aaron, where’s my rod?

Screeeeech! Whack! Don’t even think about messing with me!

God: No Promise World for you!

Later: Midnight @ Holiday N Excess, out by the pool, the kids are asleep, stars are out, but life’s not so bright. Rebellion, starvation, snakes, calves, commandments…God-forsaken desert.

Moses: God! What is this? 39, 40 years? 250 miles? Was this the plan?

Next day he gets up and goes on, but he’s pretty sure he’s not getting anywhere. And he’s used to it. He’s not sure he cares.

Moses thinks: Joshua or Caleb can have it.

He’s depressed, sad, desper8, and defeated.

The story ends sadly. Moses goes for a third wife. Children of Israel lock and load for Promise World. Moses becomes a spectator. He’s buried on a mountain across the way from Promise World.

Took a while, but I understand this a little better now. Maybe 20-years-worth. The Bible calls the Israelites “stiff necked” people. Moses was herding squirrels. Even so, he caught God’s vision for them. But somewhere along the way he lost sight of the goal. He began forgetting about God and his mission trip went off the tracks.

Moses lost his vision.

I’ve been through a desert of sorts. I love my kids to pieces, but we’ve had some rough stretches in the wilderness. Through good and bad, we’ve loved each other  — in our family we say, “Love you infinity.” My son started that. For about 20 years, my kids’ teen years through the fall (previous post: Told you so doesn’t help), I felt a lot like Moses must have felt. Promise World? What is this 19, 20 years?

This is another story, but we were missionaries in South Korea 20 years ago. We took our young family to the other side of the world to imitate Christ. We had a vision of helping Korean believers develop churches. It was great. No regrets about Korea (한국나라 사랑해).

But life grew difficult for my kids and that made life difficult for me, too. I wasn’t too great in adversity. My fire was almost put out. As I became less and less qualified in NT terms (1 Timothy 3) and more and more disillusioned, my light dimmed. My ministry light smoldered to the brink of extinction. I don’t think God set me aside, I disqualified myself. I still believed, but spent a lot of time trying to figure out what the deal was with the wilderness.

I couldn’t have described it then, but I can now. I was doing Moses. Still driving the car as instructed toward Promise World, but defeated and defl8ed, counting the long miles, lost on desert roads. Sin and tiredness messed with my spirit, stole my motivation and left me bewildered about my mission and purpose.

I lost my vision.

In January I surrendered in a long battle with God. To use Passion Conference terms, I raised my White Flag. I surrendered to God again. I gave the rough parts of the desert trip to him and once again put myself at risk to follow his will, but that’s another story, too.

After 20 years, I’m back on track for Promise World. At least that’s how it seems to me. God has graciously renewed my heart. God’s reestablished a vision and his Spirit is working in me to attempt impossible things again.

In the desert? Worn down? God’s still paying attention. Raise the White Flag. Surrender. Reboot. Place your hope in him, for he cares for you.

Tr8: Perseverance. Reboot a relationship with the Father, imitate Christ, follow the Spirit’s leadership.