Posts Tagged ‘Murphy the non-disciple’

Murphy, an Irish pub owner, is walking through Capernaum and bumps into a guy in front of Starbucks.

Murphy (carrying a load of books): Oops! ‘Scuse me.

Jesus (smiling): Murph! I’m Jesus, you’re Matt’s friend.

Murphy (smiling, too): Sure! I know you!

Jesus: No, you don’t.

Murphy (eyebrows raised): What?

Jesus: You DON’T know me.

Murphy: Matt says you’re God, the Messiah–you have disciples, a magic touch, high connections and stuff.

Jesus: All true, but you don’t know me. You make lists about objects. But people require revelation. For instance, what’s my favorite food?

Murphy: Figs?

Jesus: Nope, Ted Drew’s chocolate concretes in St. Louis.

Murphy: I didn’t understand a thing you just said.

Jesus: That’s because you don’t know me.

Murphy: What’s my favorite food?

Jesus: I don’t know, what?

Murphy: Ha! It’s shepherd’s pie! With a crunchy crust…

Jesus: Ah, you like crunchy crusty things…I’m going to make fried chicken and french fries for you and your family sometime.

Murphy: Mmm. Sounds good. How do you know I have a family?

Jesus: I know everything about you, but you haven’t revealed much to me. Let’s pop into Starbucks and talk.

Murphy: Okay. Please, it’s my treat, though.

Jesus: So, you like to give stuff to others?

Murphy: Yeah, I wish I had more to give away. People around here have so many needs. I feel blessed, but I worry about my neighbors. For instance, the Jacobson’s family–they were evicted last week, so they’re staying in my pub for now. Sad.

Jesus: I’m a giver, too. See that cut on your arm? Watch this.

(Jesus runs his finger along the cut and it disappears)

Murphy (drops his books at a booth): Whoa! Thanks, that was amazing! Wish I could do that!

Jesus (looking intently): Well, we’ll see. It’ll depend on if we’re compatible and can relate.

Murphy: I once knew a barber who could sew up cuts, but nothing like you do. He could also sing–the other three guys in his shop used to sing Egyptian tunes in four-part harmony–beautiful!

Jesus: You like music?

Murphy (excited): Oh, yeah, I sort of play the guitar. Mostly folk songs from Ireland–reminds me of home. You like music?

Jesus: As a matter of fact, I do. And, I like Irish music, too. Do you know Danny Boy?

Murphy: Sure! Can you sing?

Jesus: A little.

Murphy: I’d love to hear you sing. Maybe you could come to the pub some evening and we could try some tunes. Can you play anything?

Jesus: I mess around with a concertina that was Uncle Zebedee’s.

Murphy: James and John’s dad? I know them! John and I went to the same gymnasium. He’s a bit of a hot-head, but deep down he’s a thoughtful guy.

Jesus: Yeah, not many people see that in John, but they will. So, you look beyond the surface when you meet people?

Murphy: I guess so. I’m no saint, so I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I certainly can’t throw any stones…

Jesus: Interesting. I’m enjoying getting to know you Murph. We see a lot of things the same way–a kind of shared values thing.

Murphy: Yeah, I see we do. It’s like we’ve let each other in. I’m beginning to see what makes you tick and why everyone is drawn to you.

Jesus: Right. Me, too. You’ve revealed a lot about yourself just now. See, that’s what people do; they reveal and relate–or not. That’s how I decide who I decide to ask to follow me. Disciples–friends–mates–share values. ‘Seems the more folks are alike, the better they relate.

Murphy: 10-4. I read you. I guess I didn’t know you after all, but I know you better now and hope do this again.

Jesus: We will. Murphy, here’s something very important. Listen closely. I’m looking for friends like you who are looking for friends like me. AND, I am that I am. I’m GOD. I met Simon Aaronson, the scribe at the synagogue…I doubt we’ll ever be friends. Understand, I love him, but we have nothing in common, plus he’s a jerk around women and hates kids.

Murphy (looking down; somewhere between humble and afraid): Wow…  Lord, that makes perfect sense. Everyone builds relationships by revelation, right?

Jesus: Murphy, you are on the right track. I’ll have a tall Pike Place, black. I think we’re going to be good friends. Can I bring my guys around to the pub tonight?


Tr8: Want God to reveal himself to you? Reveal yourself to him and hope what you reveal draws him closer. The more like Jesus we become, the better the revelation.


Peanut-Butter-JellyJesus: Okay, who has the sack lunch Salome sent?

Peter: I think Murph has it. He’s back there askin’ Judas to cash a check for him.

John (yelling): Murph! Lunch!

The disciples and followers gather.

Murphy (coming forward with the lunch sack and Judas): Here it is. I think we have peanut butter and chips again. Chicken salad would be nice, but it’d spoil…or would it? I guess you could fix it when you multiply it.

Jesus (taking the sack): Ah, Murphy–a Gentile without doubt. Let’s give thanks. Peter, you do it.

Peter (startled): Will it work if I do it? I’ve never multiplied before.

Jesus: Sure, I’m here. I’ll help.

Peter prays and there are sandwiches and chips to spare.

Murphy: Jude-ass wants you to give him lottery numbers. (Judas punches him in the arm.)

Jesus (raised eyebrow): Murph…stop it. Love one another.

Murphy: Sorry, but you could do it couldn’t you? You’re God, so I’m thinkin’ you can.

Jesus (looking at Murphy and Judas): Well, yeah, I can.

Judas (expectantly): Well?

Jesus (smiling): Okay, today’s digits are the smallest real number more than one that is a perfect square, perfect cube, fourth, fifth through tenth powers.

Judas (getting out a slate; walking away): Hmm. 2×2, 4, x2, 8, x2…

Murphy (to Jesus): Will he get it?

Jesus: Not today.

Murphy (sitting under a fig tree with Jesus): The other guys don’t push it much, but I sort of wonder…you are God, so I’m guessin’ you can do more than heal and multiply, right? You obviously know algebra and that’s impressive.

Jesus (drawing in the dirt): I like numbers. Like what are you wondering?

Murphy: Well, can you fly? Be two places at once? Talk with animals?

Jesus: Why?

Murphy (smiling): Just wondering…it’d be neat to see. Maybe something for the Jerusalem crew. They want some signs or wonders. How ’bout we fly into the Temple courtyard and land like a bunch of Power Rangers?

Jesus (smiling): Why don’t I just make their legs grow together until they recognize me as their messiah?

Murphy: That’d work, too. I think you could do it if you wanted, but you don’t do anything unless your Father tells you and he doesn’t seem to work like that. More a personal approach.

Jesus: Yeah, I, we, like to lean toward faith and love. We’re calling everyone, but not everyone listens. They’ve hardened their hearts so much they’re stone–tombstones.

Murphy: Hmm. Stoners. Thanks for letting my ears hear.

Jesus: My pleasure, Murph. When it’s all said and done, I’m going to Jerusalem and will give ’em a sign and wonder they’ll not believe, but not forget.

Murphy: More impressive than being able to fly?

Jesus: Definitely.


Tr8: Jesus is more than you imagine. He can hold the universe in the span of his hand.


Be RichJesus and Murphy (the non-disciple) were waiting at Starbucks for the rest of the disciples to show up. They were both drinking French roast, black.Jesus: Murph, do you think you are rich?

Murphy: Nah. I have my little pub and some stuff, but I’m not rich. I know a guy who has a chain of ox cart repair and sales centers–he’s rich. Drives a horse.

Jesus: Hmmm. Do you and your family eat every day?

Murph: Yes.

Jesus: Do you have a roof over your head?

Murph: You know I do.

Jesus: Do you have two outfits to wear?

Murph: Three.

Jesus: You ARE rich, you just don’t FEEL rich.

Murph: I suppose.

Jesus: No, you definitely ARE rich. Look down the street at the Salvation Army Center. Compared to them, you are a wealthy man. That kid on the corner over there–he’s 15 and doesn’t have parents and was booted out of his foster home. He’s the eldest of 6 kids living in a cave near the bluff.

Murph: So, you don’t want me to be rich?

Jesus: No, no. I’m happy you are rich, but since you ARE rich, BE rich. Share your resources with those who have less. Not just among followers, be rich even with people who don’t like us. Even with Edomites and Samaritians.

Murph: I want to be like you. How much do you need?

Jesus: That’s up to you. It’s nothing but an opportunity. I’m going to ask the disciples to give the equivalent of a week of Starbucks to help those kids in the cave and the Salvation Army–my goal: 40 denarus. That’ll help those folks who are taking care of the poor folks.

Tr8 – You ARE rich, BE rich. Give the cost of a meal for a family of four, about $39.95 (w/o tip) to those who are helping the helpless.

Be Rich!

I attend Watermarke Church, one of North Point Community Church’s five campuses in Atlanta. I love it! Yesterday we began Be Rich, an event that shares our wealth with those who are less fortunate. 100% of the funds raised (goal $2.2 million) goes toward medical care, foster care, hunger, housing and at-risk children. Last year we raised north of $5 million on a $1.5 million goal. This year we’ve added some of our strategic partners and hope to give more. Be Rich works with partners who are effectively ministering in the areas mentioned above. Below are Watermarke Church’s local partners. 

You can join in the fun too!  Check out Be Rich!

Watermarke Partners:

Forever Fed


Forever Fed is a mobile food ministry that began serving communities in North Georgia in August 2010. Based on the premise that community is fostered when neighbors break bread together, they ease the burden of households experiencing food instability by providing nutritious and desirable prepared meals.


Goshen Valley Boys Ranch


Goshen Valley Boys Ranch (GVBR) is a nonprofit home serving young men ages 11–21 in Georgia’s foster care system through a transitional living program. GVBR seeks to end the cycle of abuse and neglect and provide healing for their clients as they assist them in finding long-term life plans through reunification with families, adoption, secondary education, employment, and/or transition into the community.


MUST Ministries - Cherokee


The MUST Ministries Cherokee serves those in need in our community with its food pantry, clothing closet, financial assistance, translation assistance, housing, and seasonal programming. Clients can also participate in a variety of courses in the classroom and the computer lab, both staffed by volunteers.


Operation Christmas Child


Operation Christmas Child is the world’s largest children’s Christmas project, run by the Christian charity Samaritan’s Purse. Since 1990, more than 100 million boys and girls in over 130 countries have experienced God’s love through the power of simple shoebox gifts from Operation Christmas Child. Samaritan’s Purse works with local churches and ministry partners to deliver the gifts and share the life-changing Good News of Jesus Christ.


The HOPE Center


The HOPE Center exists to share the love of Jesus Christ, promote sexual purity, and value human life. They provide help, hope, and healing to individuals facing pregnancy or relationship issues.


For more information about North Point Community Church.

murphys pubMurphy, the non-disciple, is with Jesus and Peter in Capernaum. Murphy has just started a public house near the docks. Murphy’s Public House will have rooms, boarding, and a bar. Peter and Jesus have stopped by to see how things are going.

Murphy (excited): Hey, Jesus will you bless my business? I open tomorrow.

Jesus: Sure. I bless this business.

Peter: Just like that? You bless a bar?

Jesus: Why not?

Peter: Well, he’ll be serving alcohol and you know the kind of derelicts that’ll stay here.

Jesus: Seriously?

Peter: This close to the docks? The dregs of Capernaum will be here.

Jesus (tapping Peter on the chest): Peter, your family works a fishing boat from this dock.

Peter (frustrated): Well…we’re at the far end and avoid the unclean boat owners and crews.

Jesus: All fishermen live among unclean stuff. Check the book. No scales? Unclean.

Peter (looking down): Hmm. I’m not VERY unclean. Maybe just a little. After work.

Jesus (rolling his eyes): Yeah, right. It’s not what’s on the outside, but what’s on the inside. Murphy, let me have a room here for the next month.

Murphy (overjoyed): Woohoo! My first customer!

Peter (looking askance at Jesus): I should have known. You’ll probably wait bar for Murph just to meet messed up people.

Jesus (raising his eyebrows): Good idea, Peter! Wha’d’ya say Murph?

Murphy (considering): Hmm. Sure, I guess. Tomorrow night?

Jesus: We’re on.

Murphy (setting up drinks for Jesus and Peter): A man walks into a bar with two ducks. One of the ducks is wearing a cat on his head. The bartender says, ‘What’s with the cat on that duck’s head?’ The guy says, ‘I don’t know. Those aren’t my ducks.’ The duck with the cat on his head says, ‘Jim, your cat’s blown off.’ Jim says, ‘Second one this week.’

Tr8: Jesus liked to hang out with people the Pharisees didn’t like and did things they didn’t like. Spend some time serving non-church people on their turf.

appleJesus and Murphy (the non-disciple) are sitting in the laundromat in Cesarea. As they sit reading the paper an attractive woman walks in. Both men look up. Jesus looks back down, Murphy’s gaze lingers. Jesus nudges Murphy and shakes his head.

Murphy (putting down his paper): Question, are you ever tempted to do something wrong?

Jesus (looking up at Murphy): Yeah, all the time.

Murphy: Hogwash! You never thought an evil thought in your life.

Jesus: That’s a different question. Do you mean, does my flesh ever propose actions my spirit rejects?

Murphy: Hmm. Does your flesh ever propose actions your spirit rejects?

Jesus: Constantly.

Murphy: Have you ever followed your flesh instead of your spirit?

Jesus: Nope, but I could. See, here’s what I know that you don’t. One poor choice has the potential to kill us all. It’s like the Butterfly Effect – a Japanese butterfly causing a blizzard in north America. When you see the consequences of your actions clearly, you’ll become like me.

Murphy: What?

Jesus: Sure, every bad choice hurts yourself and others. Plus, one mistake leads to another. For instance, when I made the universe, a mistake of .000001 could screw up the whole thing. That’s what makes it a bad decision. Bad decisions are the starting points for future disasters.

Murphy: So, when Eve decided to eat the apple, she couldn’t just spit it out and put the apple back on the tree?

Jesus: Correct. I’m the only one who can re-hang that fruit. And, had she asked, I would have, but guilt and deception came almost immediately. Eve was on relatively safe ground right up until she snapped the stem. Her spirit was screaming, but her flesh prevailed. Look at the mess.

Murphy: Are you saying you’ve always made the right choice?

Jesus: So far, yes. The very, very first thing I chose was love. Maybe it’s me, but once tasted, it ALL came to me. I mean ALL. Group the universe into two sets: A) Love and B) Not Love. Everything in A is me and mine. Everything in B is a bad choice or a consequence of a bad choices. Since the beginning all was well until Satan and Eve started the second set. Even so, I’m finding redemption sweet and rich for all of us. There’s nothing better than redeeming love. So, in a sense, the bad choices, when given to me, draw us all the more deeper into our relationship. It’s going to come out better than anyone expects.

Murphy: Are you saying that when you get something, you get all of it?

Jesus: Exactly, Everything I want I can have.

Murphy: Whoa! Light bulb! I get it.

Jesus: Just as I can heal and resurrect, I can destroy and kill. I know the darkest thoughts of humankind. See that man outside the laundromat door? He’s been following that woman for three blocks and there’s evil on his mind. I could turn him into ashes, but then I wouldn’t be able to stop with him. Pretty soon I’d have to come to you and strike you down for something, too. There’s a lot riding on my choices.

Murphy: You wouldn’t hurt me, would you, Jesus?

Jesus: I wouldn’t, but I could, and you’d have it coming. When my judgment comes, it will be pure and good for all. My Kingdom is always in the balance. Yours, too.

Murphy: Does it get easier as you go along?

Jesus: I think so. When a temptation comes my way, I look to the Father and where I’ve been and where we’re going and the decisions come easier. You could say I’m on a winning streak.

Murphy (getting up and taking robes from the dryer): Yeah, I can see it. I’ve found it easier to be like you when I’m with you. In fact, if I think like you, temptation rarely prevails, but I’m not perfect.

Jesus: You will be someday. Trust me. I’m taking us all back to Eden. I’ll re-hanging the apple someday and love WILL prevail — you will be there.

Murphy (handing Jesus’ robe to him): Lots of static…here’s yours. Can I buy you a cup of Starbucks?

Jesus (slipping on his robe, it sticks to his legs): I’m on. Lead the way.

Murphy (and Jesus exit the laundromat and head north — Murphy stops after a few steps and holds up his finger): Hang on a second. (Walks back to the guy standing by the laundromat doorway, puts his arm firmly on his shoulder and turns him toward Jesus) Hey, bud! We’re gonna go have a cup of coffee. There’s someone I want you to meet.

Tr8: Love makes choices that save others. Be like Christ. One poor choice has the potential to kill us all.