Posts Tagged ‘porn’

Jesus, James, John, Andrew and Peter are going to Jericho to help move a piano. Peter’s driving a borrowed pickup and the rest of the guys are riding in the back with Jesus’ dog, Bumper.

John: Did anyone see the news?

Andrew: Yeah, ‘talkin’ bout Todd Akin’s brain fart? (darts a look at Jesus) uhh, sorry, I mean, misspoken press statement?

John: Yeah. He said something about a ‘legitimate rape’ and punishing rapists, not babies.

James: What a nimrod! Legitimate rape? Is he crazy? There’s no such thing as a ‘legitimate’ rape.

Andrew (shaking his head): Yeah, rape is most heinous.

John (tapping Jesus’ knee): Jesus, what do you do with that?

Jesus (looking up with toothpick in his mouth): About rape or about Akin?

James: Rape. The Scripture says we should kill rapists.

The group nods.

Jesus (taking the toothpick out of his mouth):  I tell you, if any one sleeps with another and fantasizes about someone else, he or she commits rape twice. Once with whom he or she is lying with, or to, and the other, with whom he or she is fantasizing.

James (eye opened wide): Whoa! That’s a bit harsh!

Jesus: Whenever one has non-consensual sex, it’s rape. Sex is supposed to be part of marriage — a product of a loyal and exclusive promise. Everything goes bad when sex is an object in and of itself. Sex without love is using someone — it’s rape — real or imagined.

John: But Jesus, people fantasize all the time, don’t they?

Jesus (looking into John’s eyes): It’s what’s in your heart and head. Do you want your spouse to play like she’s loving you while thinking of someone else? Do you not want the joining of hearts as well?

The guys sit silently as the pickup turns up the hill.

Andrew (shaking his head): Well, it’s much more hopeless than I thought. Yet, that’s the kind of love I dream of.

Jesus (massaging his right palm with his left index finger): I’m describing the ideal. Your hearts and minds acknowledge this is your highest hope — a perfect relationship. In this life, reality falls short of perfect — we rarely grasp God’s ideal. Yet, we don’t give up. If you think this way, it will make you a better spouse, friend and partner. You’ll be surprised how much easier it is when you acknowledge the ideal.

Andrew (shaking his head): Wow! Jesus! You blow my mind every time you speak! Peter won’t believe this!

Jesus (smiling, patting Andrew on the back): Thanks, Rew. Poor Congressman Akin would rather be moving our piano than dancing with network news wonks. We should remember him in our prayers.

Tr8: Never quit disciplining the mind — don’t be content with rape in any of its forms. Commit yourself wholly to your mate for life. Everyone wants an ideal spouse. If you are not married, your commitment to your spouse began at birth.

Messed up? See this.

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The Sexual Revolution is over and we’re still looking for the winner. Religion aside, sexual liberation hasn’t played out as many hoped or expected. “Liberation” has resulted in more abandoned children, abortion, STDs, death and disease, divorce, mechanical intimacy, broken homes, seductive porn, abuse, unbridled lust, sex slavery, uncomfortable perversion at home, broken trust, emotional disillusionment, sexed-out youth and adults, marketed flesh, and need for counseling. Two genders living in one body continues to be problematic.

Hugh Hefner? Let’s see, raise your hand if you wish your life legacy was popularizing virtual sex slavery?

So, when it comes to sex, think: Might this hurt anyone (physically, spiritually, or emotionally) now, or in the future? And, would I wish this for my child?

The good news is that God loves a reboot. And we should, too. I like the term “reboot.” If you are not a tech person, a reboot (ctrl-alt-del or holding in the power button) reestablishes a good operating system — a new starting point for a future history.

No matter how badly one has messed up, God is ready to reboot. Instructions:

1) Giving up on the old, non-operating operating system (surrender, run up the white flag).

2) Shut down the old system (repent and restore/install operating system)

3) Restart (resolve to follow manufacturer’s recommendations — imitate Christ).

Tr8:Exclusive. You are meant for someone special and someone special is meant for you.